King Lamus Intervenes
It is only three months ago; but it seems a lifetime.
My memory is now very good, and I remember more
details of the past every day.
I am writing this account of the past three months, partly because my best friend tells me that it will strengthen it if I exercise it by putting down what has occurred in sequence. And you know, even a month ago, I couldn't have recalled anything at all with regard to certain periods.
I am writing this account of the past three months, partly because my best friend tells me that it will strengthen it if I exercise it by putting down what has occurred in sequence. And you know, even a month ago, I couldn't have recalled anything at all with regard to certain periods.
My friend tells me that memory fails me in part because nature mercifully wishes to hide from us things
which are painful. The spider-web of protective forgetfulness
is woven over the mouth of the cave which conceals the raw head and bloody bones of our misfortunes.
“But the greatest men,” says King Lamus, “are those that refuse to be treated like squalling children, who insist on facing reality in every form, and tear off ruthlessly the bandages from their own wounds.”
But I have to think very hard to write down the incidents of the dinner at the Wisteria when Lou and I had made up our minds to end our lives.
“But the greatest men,” says King Lamus, “are those that refuse to be treated like squalling children, who insist on facing reality in every form, and tear off ruthlessly the bandages from their own wounds.”
But I have to think very hard to write down the incidents of the dinner at the Wisteria when Lou and I had made up our minds to end our lives.
I reached out my hands for this diary. It has
relieved me to write it down in all this detail.
I found myself on fire with passionate determination to fight H. and C. to a finish; and my hands were tied behind my back, my feet were fettered by a chain and ball. I wouldn’t be made to stop by that beast. We’d get it despite him.
We wouldn’t be treated like children; we’d get as much as we wanted and we’d take it all the time, if it killed us.
I found myself on fire with passionate determination to fight H. and C. to a finish; and my hands were tied behind my back, my feet were fettered by a chain and ball. I wouldn’t be made to stop by that beast. We’d get it despite him.
We wouldn’t be treated like children; we’d get as much as we wanted and we’d take it all the time, if it killed us.
The conflict in myself raged all the afternoon.
Cockie had gone to sleep. He snored and groaned.
He was like one’s idea of a convict. He hadn’t shaved
for two days. My own nails were black. I felt sticky
and clammy all over. I hadn’t dressed myself. I had
thrown my clothes on carelessly.
Cockie woke about dinner-time. We couldn’t go down as we were. We were suddenly stung by the realisation that we were making durselves conspicuous in the hotel. We had a horrible fear of being foun out. They might do something. It was all the worse that we didn’t quite know what. And we felt so helpless, almost too weak to move a finger.
Cockie woke about dinner-time. We couldn’t go down as we were. We were suddenly stung by the realisation that we were making durselves conspicuous in the hotel. We had a horrible fear of being foun out. They might do something. It was all the worse that we didn’t quite know what. And we felt so helpless, almost too weak to move a finger.
Oh, couldn't we find some anywhere I...
My God! what a bit of luck. What a fool I am. There was one packet of H. in the pocket of my travelling dress. We crawled towards each other and shared it. After the long abstention, the effect was miraculous.
Cockie picked himself up almost fiercely. The desperate anguish of our necessity drove him to swift resolute action. He sent for the barber and the waiter. We had the maid pack our things. We paid the bill and left our heavy trunks in the hotel, explaining that we had been called away suddenly on business.
My God! what a bit of luck. What a fool I am. There was one packet of H. in the pocket of my travelling dress. We crawled towards each other and shared it. After the long abstention, the effect was miraculous.
Cockie picked himself up almost fiercely. The desperate anguish of our necessity drove him to swift resolute action. He sent for the barber and the waiter. We had the maid pack our things. We paid the bill and left our heavy trunks in the hotel, explaining that we had been called away suddenly on business.
